The Shadow-gloom and Weight of the Sacred

Credit: Robert Scales
http://www.flickr.com/photos/raincitystudios/
CC BY-SA 2.0

I've written on a couple of different occassions how we are exploring obscurity as a theological construct during this lenten season--Concerning Scripture/Bible study and Japan/disillusionment with the obscurity pursuit. I've had a much greater love-hate relationship with this exploration than what I've documented on my blog. I've enjoyed it; I've hated it; I've judged it. All of this is, I think, because it has been difficult to fully understand the pursuit. But, as we have continued this process, I've gained better perspective regarding the pursuit.

It would seem by it's very nature that embracing the obscure would make it (whatever "it" is) unobscure. This bothered me. It didn't seem paradoxical; it seemed ironic (and not in the good way). It seemed illegitimate. But, we had an interesting discussion tonight as we sat around a number of different artistic expressions concerning the lenten season. It reinvigorated me to explore the positive role of obscurity in life.

Here's a thought (or two)...

We all tell ourselves stories; we cling to these stories that are untrue because they're known. For example, as I posted not so long ago, I sometimes tell myself that as the Queen Bee gets older she'll resent being adopted; she'll resent that I'm her father. So I tell this story because then I can prepare: I'll read books and articles and talk to other people so that when this episode inevitably happens I'll be prepared with the appropriate answers and data or whatever.

But, there's no foregone conclusion this will happen. I cling to this story because it is known and unobscure. The thing not to be missed is the verb here: We all tell ourselves stories. Embracing obscurity isn't telling myself a more freeing story, it's getting rid of the talking. It's shutting up. It's the talking that creates the clinging, so shut up and step forward faithfully. Whatever may or may not happen between my daughter and I will be handled faithfully and will become a part of our shaping process towards faithfulness. That's not easier. That's a lot harder, actually, but I think it's a lot better.

Listening is willingness to be lead by another.
--Herr Kegger

I really liked this thought. It's hard to listen just like it's hard to be lead. It's hard to not talk, to not tell ourselves stories that create a false sense of identity. I can't change. I can't get out of debt. I can't stop using drugs. I can't lose weight. I can't graduate. My daughter is going to resent me. Yeah, I like that quotation.