The Shadow-gloom and Weight of the Sacred

A couple of years ago, the Queen Bee started attending a day school for five hours a day, two days a week. After a few months, she began attending the day school three days a week and this has been our norm until the beginning of this month when my marvelous little girl entered the world of public education. I think it was a much bigger step for Gretchen and I than it was for the Queen Bee. Her first day, I dropped her off and I could tell she was unsure and shy, but by no means was she intimidated. Some days, she doesn't even want me to walk her through the doorway of the school. Other days, she clings to my leg so I won't leave (I think this is mainly mimicking the behavior of other kids she sees around her because her's is usually a pretty weak effort).

In the past, when she attended the day school, Gretchen always made the Queen Bee's lunch and we sent her off with this snazzy Beatles lunchbox. Everyday for the last couple of years, if the Queen Bee has gone to school, she's gone with her Beatles lunchbox. Oh, and if you don't know why a Beatles lunchbox is awesome....

Well, with the beginning of Pre-K, I started making the Queen Bee's lunches. This wasn't an official changing of the guard; I just started making the lunch and had a lot of fun doing it. I enjoyed the challenge of finding her new things to put in her lunchbox so that she didn't get bored with her food. Nonetheless, most days the lunchbox was returned to my care with hardly any of the food being eaten. We reached the conclusion that, being the only kid in her class to bring a lunch to school, she really wanted be like the other kids and eat a cafeteria lunch. So, last Tuesday, I went to her school and paid for a month's worth of cafeteria lunches.

I'm a bit brokenhearted to send the Beatles lunchbox into retirement so early in the Queen Bee's education experience, and I really do miss that little jolt of joy I received from making her lunches. However, the Queen Bee loves eating the cafeteria food with her friends at school. The first day she told me about how she drank a little carton of milk with ice slivers in it, how she carried her tray to her table and, when she was done eating, how she raised her hand and the teacher removed her tray from the table and dumped the trash in the trash can (all of this was mimed with exquisite execution).
I know I've said it before: I try not to be a parent who is constantly awestruck by how quickly my child is growing up. I don't want to miss the beauty of the Queen Bee's current stage of life because I was wasting time reminiscing or lamenting the past. I don't lament the past. I celebrate my daughter's growth and development. I do feel a slight sense of betrayal that my time as lunchmaker was taken from me so quickly, though. I will spend a little bit of time--at least one blog post--lamenting the passing of this stage. But, maybe Gretchen will starting taking the Beatles lunchbox with her to work? Who knows?