The Shadow-gloom and Weight of the Sacred

One of Gretchen's favorite Beatles' song is Here Comes the Sun. I like it a lot as well. When we first started the adoption process we talked about the songs we'd sing to our little girl. Gretchen always said Here Comes the Sun was the song she wanted to sing. I always said Who Scared You? by The Doors. But, when the Queen Bee came to live with us last December, she didn't really seem to respond to my song, but she really liked Here Comes the Sun. For months we'd sing it to her and she'd know it was time to sleep. I normally put her to bed at night. Sometimes, she'd stand up in her crib, not wanting to go to sleep, but then I'd sing Here Comes the Sun and she'd lay down. She seemed proud that she understood what she was supposed to do. She's grown out of that, now, though. Ever since we returned to the States, she hasn't responded to Here Comes the Sun. In fact, it's a lot harder to get her to go to sleep.

A week ago or so, she discovered that she can climb out of the pack-n-play in which she's been sleeping. Most of the time, I now have to lay down with her in a regular bed and, once she's asleep, move her to the pack-n-play. This can make things more difficult, especially if she has made up her mind not to sleep, but it's not so bad most of the time. Most of the time, she cuddles up next to me, grabs my hand and places it on her tummy (she likes a good tummy rub as she's falling asleep). I'm a little sad that she's growing up so quickly, that she doesn't respond like she once did to Here Comes the Sun. But, it melts my heart every time she cuddles up next to me, feels safe next to me, and sleeps. It's a good trade off.