The Shadow-gloom and Weight of the Sacred

I've been praying and reflecting upon these few sentences from Paul's first letter to the Corinthians:

¹When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I
proclaimed to you the testimony about God.²For I resolved to know nothing while I was with
you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. ³I came to you in weakness and fear, and with
much trembling. ⁴My message and my preaching were not with wise and persuasive words,
but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, ⁵so that your faith might not rest on men's
wisdom, but on God's power (1 Cor. 2:1-5, TNIV).

The last five or six years, I've pursued only knowledge, wisdom and education. I thought that if I was smart enough, if I knew enough theology, that I could convert people, fix the church, start a new church that didn't need repair, etc. I devoted an untold number of hours, days, weeks...months (seriously, folks) to the study of the Bible and the cultures in which it was written. I am no better than what I was six years ago. I like the knowledge, but I am no better.

What does it mean to know nothing other than Jesus and the crucifixion? This isn't a testimony that leads someone to definitive understanding of the cosmos. This is confusing. Jesus. Crucified. Ponder that. Then, we'll start a community of people who know nothing but these two things. We'll get together to ponder them.

I've been praying for ignorance. I've been pondering Jesus and the cross. I desire a testimony like Paul's that is based on worldly foolishness--the things God uses to topple the powers of this age in favor of the coming age.