The Shadow-gloom and Weight of the Sacred

"If I did that, then I'm sorry."

I think remorse must be genuine. I don't think a person should apologize without admitting a wrong. It's insincere.

"If I came off that way, then I'm sorry."

Look, if you said something mean or hurtful, you need to acknowledge it. If you didn't say such a thing, then don't give an insincere, hypothetical apology.

An apology doesn't mean anything unless the person apologizing is actually APOLOGETIC. I actually think this is a very serious issue because these hypothetical apologies happen all of the time. I know I do it. An apology is about reconciliation. After an argument, disagreement, a wrongdoing, a hurtful act. An apology is needed to help reconcile people to each other.

The hypothetical apology isn't about reconciliation. It's a rhetorical device used to defeat another person. It conveys the attitude of self-righteous exceptionalism by indicating that the hypothetically apologizing person would, in fact, apologize in reality if it were possible for them to be wrong. Through their words they project the image of a humble, caring person when they are really only protecting their ego, not their relationship(s) with others.

I'm going to try and break out of this habit of hypothetically apologizing and begin making real movements towards reconciliation when it is needed.